motivation

some people got it, some people don't.. I'm one of those people who got it (sometimes..)

I'll be motivated to wash the dishes when there aren't any clean cups or spoons, ill be motivated do the laundry when all the baskets are full, ill be motivated to wash my car when there's bird shit EVERYWHERE..




OK so that's not really motivation is it? so this rant is basically me trying to figure out why i can do somethings & am freaked out to do other things.. these other things are about me going back to school..


so the deal is i was in uni completing a degree in design.. got married & thought i could continue it but got pregnant & had my baby (and then got pregnant again & had that baby) and now 4 years later i have 2 daughters & no babies so I'm thinking of going back to school to do something.. but what??


I like design I'm just not good at it. i am an appreciator. i love good design & i appreciate & respect those who can create good design. i also like art, but id rather study & analyse it, than paint a picture. So i also love languages & different cultures. if i had my way id be fluent in about 5 languages. i love reading & writing but again id rather read an awesome story than write one myself.. so this leaves me where...


at a recent hang out/gathering my friends were trying to help me figure out what to do, everyone was so supportive of me going back but I'm so clueless on what to do. I'm torn between just finishing my degree in 18 months and being done with it.. or finding what i love to do and studying that.. but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking two things



1) do i have the time/organisation skills/ dedication to go back to school full time with a family to take care of?


2) what degree can i do that will allow me to get a job once i graduate?




the someone said something brilliant, "I'm just doing my degree because i like it"


that sounds lovely but i guess having a family puts my way of thinking in a different place. if i get a job i have to think of one that is flexible & doesn't require too much of my time out of work. My mum came up with the suggestion of being a teacher and right now i see where she's coming from. there's currently a shortage of teachers so that's a plus however teachers aren't amongst the best paid people out there and my husband wants to be a teacher too. so i wonder if financially that would be okay for the family.




one thing i do know is that as a mother i am here to set the best example for my children and i know that takes a lot of hard work & dedication & yes... motivation too




as if these girls aren't motivation enough..

I saw this on Ohmakemeup and I'm a secret/subtle narcissist.. (i think most people are.. in some form) so i thought i would see what i could come up with

A - Amina & Ayisha are my daughters names & i think if i have anymore kids they'll probably have A names too.. i dunno where my love for A names came from but i just love them!

B - blueberries are my new found addiction, i eat them everyday, I'm constantly going out to buy more and i hope all those anti-oxidants work!

C - cleaning is something i hate to do but seem to spend a lot of my time doing it..

D - dogs freak me out! big ones, little ones... i don't hate them I'm just scared of them and choose to stay away
from them as much as possible

E - eggs, i love eating eggs fried, scrambled, poached, boiled.. i once at 4 in one meal.. is that bad for you??

F - funky, back in high school, that was how my friends described me.. i don't know why but I'll take it!

G - green is one of my favourite colour yet it is one of the colours that just doesn't look good on me & to think my primary & high school uniform were both primarily green

H - hair, I've been battling with my hair my whole life, when i was young i used to think if i brushed my hair enough it would go straight & of course it just got fuzzier, fluffier and worse! I'm 23 and only now am i starting to learn to live with and love my curls

I - Indonesia, my home land, i miss it so, i wish i could go back more often & i really wish as a country they would step up & make it as wonderful as it can be

J - Japanese, i was pretty good at it in high school, i could read it, speak it, understand it and now i have slowly lost it.. konichiwa!

K - kid cudi! gah i am obsessed with this man, love his new album, his style.. just his whole vibe!

L - little, I'm 5" (150cms) exactly.. i always knew i was little but i didn't really how little i was till i had kids & everyone would say "wow your kids are so small and tiny, just like their mummy.." sorry kids!

M - mother, people don't love their mothers enough, i love mine to the fullest and I'm telling you, that's still not enough, right from carrying a life around for 9 months, to birth, to ALL the things that a mother does for her child/ren, there is no way to repay that.

N - nail polish.. I'm 23 and i still am HOPELESS at putting nail polish on myself & other people.. i used to paint & i studied art in high school yet nail polish is still such a challenge for me... my technique is to get it everywhere and scratch off the excess when its dry

O - oranges, due to an incident with orange juice being squirted in my eye by accident in pre-school i have HATED oranges ever since.. i still do and i think i always will

P - painting, i miss it, I'm poor at it, but i love it!

Q - quick, i like to do most things quickly like cleaning, cooking, reading, etc.. i just feel like i have so much to do in a day and that's the only way I'm going to get it all done!

R - reading, Ive always been a book worm, i would choose books over TV hands down, my parents bought be toys sometimes but ALWAYS were happy to buy me books.. my kids love reading too and i think if you love reading that just makes school that bit easier on you.

S - SARAH, my initials are SSS which makes S the best letter ever, Ive always felt special for that

T - tacos, my mum is an AMAZING cook and there is not one meal that i can make that is equal or better then hers, except tacos! my tacos taste exactly the same as hers, and i think that's just because we use to same taco kits from the supermarket

U - ugg boots, i think they re so ugly and i don't care if they're so comfortable, and i don't care if they came from Australia, they're ugly and you should NEVER wear them out of the house!

V - vegetables, i love them, my favourites are mushrooms, broccoli, spinach, corn, potatoes, snow peas, cucumbers, zucchinis, snake beans.. that's all i can think of right now, i have considered becoming a vegan on so many occasions but i love steak!!

W - water, drinking more then 3 glasses a day of plain water makes me feel sick, Ive been trying to get my 6-8 glasses a day but i cant do more then 4 without feeling so gross!

X - x-ray.. Ive stubbed both my pinkie toes on different occasion and thought nothing of it then a long time later my doctor noticed how my pinkie toes were kind of larger then usual so he got them x-rayed and they're both broken! they don't hurt but they aren't that cute either oh well!

Y - young, i wish i could be this for a while longer, I'm scared of turning 25.. cant imagine what its going to be like when i turn 30

Z - Zhane, a female duo who had a song "Hey Mr DJ" which i loved back in the 90s when it came out and i still love it to this day!!

Dilemma

OK so I love mothering but I've ALWAYS wanted to go back to school/uni to show my girls that ANYTHING is possible.. even a mother of 2 getting a uni degree, its like a walk in the park! The only issue being my parents are going to back the motherland (Indonesia) in March next year and aren't pressuring me to come but my grandmothers are always reminding me how much they miss my babies.. so I'm torn between giving my daughters time with their great grandmothers while they still can and keeping a promise to myself..

i never got to meet any great grandparents, my brother did.. has photos to prove it and everything. I'm all about giving my kids what i didn't have so, I'm going back with my parents for 5 weeks and hopefully when i get back I'll get accepted in mid-year applications..

Its just amazing the way that only a mother would have to think things through and get things done.. such as:

"I'll only put $15 in my tank for the week so I can buy credit for my husband and he'll have cash for his weekly indoor soccer match with his boys so he doesn't have to go to an ATM.."

"I'll finish the dishes, then change her nappy, then take the trash out.. don't forget to put a load in the washing machine!"

"I wont go to meet up with my girlfriends because the house is a mess, i don't want to use up my petrol & it feels like i haven't really spent time with the husband.."

.. i once cleaned the shower, while i was showering and i read a book to my daughter at the same time...

Some people say I'm too dedicated to my kids & my husband.. i would have to say that's just how i was raised, with the best parents setting the best example for me. everyone says it but my mother really is the best mother & wife. my dad too of course, they both did everything and anything for me and my brother.. every single choice my parents have made in her lives has been for the benefit of the family, down to the jobs they have worked at for the last 20+ years, the way they spend money, the way they spend Saturday mornings..

i am ever so grateful to my parents

for never fighting in front of me and my brother

for taking me to religious school EVERY Saturday morning even though i really didn't want to go

for showing me how adults interact & behave with dignity & respect

to show me how a man and wife love beyond hugs & kisses

for teaching me how to drive in the rain

for teaching me how far i can stretch $20

for teaching me that volume doesn't mean anything & substance means everything

for showing me that there is nothing better than hard work

for always listening

for recognising my need to be independent and do things my way

for picking me up from ANYWHERE at all hours of the night

for loving me through all my mistakes due to rather poor judgement

for knowing somethings up even when i try my hardest to pretend its all good

for never letting me down EVER

its almost an impossible mould to fill but I'm trying my best.. all a kid ever wants is to make their parents proud.

tonight i was..

eating : 2 minute noodles.. isnt it weird how you slave over a hot stove to create a nutricious yet delicious meal for your family when all you really want to eat is 2 minute noodles..

reading : The Shipping News - E. Annie Proulox.. i have a feeling one of my English teachers back in high school suggested i read this book & 6+ years later I am and liking it so far but im half way and still waiting for the story to start.. i wonder what the "E" stands for and how you would pronounce that last name... i'm gonna google that..

talking to : my brother on the phone.. he has officially been overseas for a year and i miss him! Our relationship is so normal to us.. i dont think we've EVER said that we love each other but he's my bro of course i do.. we'll talk about getting high, getting drunk, his travelling adventures, hot chics, my kids, our parents but we just never talk about our problems for more then a few moments.. maybe thats our way of letting each of us deal with our issues ourselves & become better people because of it.. he's apparently an awesome cook and i am not so maybe i'll be schooled in the culinary department when he gets back

mothering : my 2 children/angels fell asleep right on cue.. exactly what i need on a saturday night home alone after a full day of hard work.. im talking toilet scrubbing, vacuuming, 4 loads of dirty laundry, 2 baskets of clean clothes to put away, dishes stacked up high & a family to take care of..

listening to : some new tunes... nothing like fresh melodies for the ears..

Consequence feat Kanye West & John Legend - Whatever You Want (John Legend makes anything fire...)

Drake - The Fear (..now you finally got a moment to yourself girl...)

Letoya Luckett feat Ludacris - Regret (Letoya = underated.. Ludacris = Always great..)

Melanie Fiona - It Kills Me (gotta love a woman with REAL talent..)

Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness (this man can do no wrong...)

Amerie feat Trey Songz - Pretty Brown Eyes (awesome colab.. of course!)

thinking : of painting my nails bright blue..

loving : my life.. as sappy as that sounds I'm trying to focus on the positives after my husband nicely alerted me to my pessimistic tendencies.. no money in my wallet but i have a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back, my health, my family & god... dont really need much else

WAIT! one thing i think everyone needs is a photo of a 2 year & 8 months old girl picking her nose..

can mums wear sneakers?

I LOVE SNEAKERS.. i always have always will.. i remember being a little girl & being a hater because my older brother got to wear Reebok Pumps & Air Jordans and i had to wear jelly sandals & patent buckle shoes.. i remember getting my first pair of black converse all stars in year 6 and i didnt wear them out but i slept in them for a week..

so now that im 23 and a mother of 2.. am i meant to really put my sneakers away and put on some ballet flats? I've always looked young for my age.. even now i still get mistaken for a 16-19 year old and im not complaining but i kind of am.. i guess im torn between looking my age and looking like a mother. i'll admit to getting funny looks because it looks like im 16 and have 2 kids which means i popped out my first child when i was 12?? so for the sake of avoiding the stares ive put my ballet flats in front of my sneakers in my shoe space for easier access.. but i just feel like a faker! i want to wear my sneakers! my sneakers consist of enough chuck taylors to last me a while, all white hi air force 1s, patent pink & red low AF1S & some retro design nike Air jordans & i'd love to buy more.. my fave sneakers would have to be my white hi-top chucks & my jordans..

and then i come across websites like this...

http://femalesneakerfiend.com/

and admire these ladies for being able to rock sneakers, look awesome & age appropriate..

oh well... im staying home in my socks today anyways..

...it has been a WHILE

major guilt about not blogging, the main reason being that I have no idea what to blog about.. but i do love reading other peoples blogs as they just seem way more interesting.. i'll admit, the life of a stay at home mother isnt THAT interesting in my opinion, but i do think it is the MOST important job in the world ever! and the most challenging and difficult.. but it has its fun moments and its obvious perks..

i'll be an optimist and talk about the great things about being a stay at home mum..

KIDS - spending time with my kids is the best. Seeing them grow up is amazing. The other day my eldest daughter told me "Mummy, I talk differently now because im older." and i thought, well, yes, she does doesnt she??? and she's only 4.. my youngest daughter is slowly showing signs of being ready to start toilet training and to most people that would be a "umm.. so?" kind of thing but after almost 3 years of nappy changes.. bring on the potty!!

I've always been an organised person but being organised with children takes a whole other way of thinking. My purse is packed with everything i'll need for the day, my kids (and my) clothes laid out & ready for the next day. Right down to making sure their favourite cereal bowls and spoons are out the night before.. and their shoes & socks are ready, unrolled, untied to be shoved on in a flurry with my keys sitting in the lock ready to get out the door in the morning. But i love it. I would have to say my kids will never know how much they have taught me. pre-kids i was a very impatient perfectionist and those 2 words just dont go with being a mother! Its all about waiting & being able to just let the little things go yet appreciate the little things at the same time.. Even something as unsanitary and gross as my daughter picking her nose with her thumb can make my day. An uninterrupted, warm shower is heaven to me now! let alone getting to moisturise! My most treasured growth from having children is learning how to have fun & care about the important things. It's fun pretending to be farm animals and making silly faces and making art out of glitter & glue.. you should try it!

Going out with the kids it tiring and nothing like what it used to be like when i would go out sans-kids. If we go out for lunch i will most likey end up eating someones left overs & drinking a cold cup of coffee but just seing my children having a good time is worth the energy, stress & effort it takes to go out.

PJS - 9 out of 10 days i get out of them but on those days where i just dont feel like getting out of them i dont and its as simple as that. I'll obviously shower but I might just slip into my trackies & a baggy shirt if I feel like it. theyre just so comfy..

ME TIME - I used to feel bad for taking time to myself, but now that i think about it, it helps me calm down and be a better, happier, fun mum which benefits the whole family & i'm teaching my children that taking care of yourself is important. I normally read a book, exercise or just have a cup of tea just to make myself feel like a human again. its hard to explain but when most of your day is about other people you sometimes dont feel like a person. It really is something you dont understand until you do it.

I sometimes think the challenges of being a stay at home mother are over looked because mothers dont want to look like theyre complaining or that they dont enjoy staying at home.. but just like any other job there are challenges

REPITITION - sometimes ill be doing something and think "hang on, i was doing this yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.." but thats just the nature of staying at home i guess. kids will always need to eat 3 times a day plus snacks so of course you're always going to have dishes to wash. kids are just made to make messes so of course you're going to have to pack up toys, books & arts & craft pieces over and over again. Kids are grubby & dirty so theres no suprise if you're doing your 4th load of washing for the week and its only wednesday.

LONLINESS - even though im never alone (i have a 2 year old who follows me almost everywhere) it does get lonely when you dont have other adults to talk to during the day. My kids are great & interesting people but as for conversationalists, theres only so much they can talk about (obviously!). So sometimes I just feel like i dont really have anyone to talk to. Its nice when me and my husband actually get the rare occasion of just sitting and talking and also the rare occasion that i'll organise a get together with my fellow stay at home mothers and we'll get to talk whilst watching the kids play at the park or something. Its harder than it sounds to get 2 mothers out.

EMOTIONS - when you dont have anyone to share your feelings with they either get repressed and forgotten or build up & explode. Staying at home with children can be frustrating when they dont want to eat their lunch, they dont want to cooperate, they dont want to say sorry or play nicely, the toy they want to play with doesnt have the right batteries, when one child wants to play rock band and the other child wants to play libraries.. ITS TOUGH! I think being a mother really teaches you how to control your emotions & show your emotions in a healthy manner. of course there have been times where i have just lost it but in the end it really is about just getting back up and getting on with it, really.

and on that note i must share with you my life, my joy, my purpose, my personal comedians, my educators, my endless supply of cuddles, hugs & kisses, my angels xx

Grey + Blue birthday look

My birthday was AGES ago but i was looking through my photos and I kinda liked what i saw so i decided to re-create it for fun.. dont think you can see it clearlt but it was a bluey, grey, smokey kinda look.. as you can see i need to work on my skills but hey practise makes perfect :o)

Products used:

grey & white e/s - Australis Sophistakit

dark grey e/s - BYS #818

dark blue e/s - BYS #126

black e/s - BYS

liquid eyeliner - Rimmel exaggerate 100% black

black pencil liner - BYE super soft black

Bronze Kiss bronzer - Savvy by Db

Di Kennedy lipgloss

What Im using right now

this is just an interesting tag i saw on lollipop26's blog and now everyones doing one so im jumping on the band wagon :o)

Shampoo: Salon Only for dry, damaged hair.. it was $5 when its normally $19 - gotta love a BARGAIN!

Conditioner: some left over conditioner that my husband bought thinking it was shampoo.. i dont even know what brand it is but it works

Styling products: Muk kinky muk curl amplifier for my curly days & tresseme heat protectant for my straight days

Shower Gel: Lux tahitian escape exfoliating body scrub with pommegranate seeds & palm milk (this is me trying to encorporate an element of summer into to my miserable winter days)

Body moisturiser: good ol' sorbalene cream but i bought 3 body butters in coconut, strawberry & mango + grapefruit which i plan to use soon (again.. me pretending its summer)

Deodorant: some dove roll on, ive been buying the same one for so long i dont even know what its called

Fake Tan: no fake tan, im pretty tanned as it is, especially for winter

Cleanser: proactive cleanser

Exfoliator: none, but im planning on gettin regular microdermabrasion treatments from a friend who does beauty treatments :o)

Primer: i use garnier oil free mattifying moisturising lotion before foundation and it works for me

Foundation brush: eco tools foundation brush

Concealer: revlon age defying in medium deep, i have been using the same concealor for too long, help me out of this rut and suggest a new one!!

Blusher: nars angelika, pretty hot pink, makes me feel girly but with a bit of attitude

Bronzer: Savvy by db in Bronze kiss

Highlighter: the highlight in my covergirls instant cheekbones blush trio, its a pretty peach colour

Eyeshadow base: i just use a dot of concealor uner my eyeshadows

Eyeshadows: im a neutral girl so my BYS custom quad has my lid colour, crease colour & highlight all in one

Eyeliner: BYS ftw again, and i normally set it with a black eyeshadow to last all day & night and it does, yay for great cheap products!

Curler: sportsgirl eyelash curler

Mascara: revlon lash fantasy or covergirl volume exact, which ever is easier to get out of my tiny and over crowded makeup drawers. maybelline xxl is my favourite for nights out when you want OHH-LA-LA lashes without a sense of drag and the hassle of falsies

Lipstick: loreal color riche in bronze & rimmel in Airy Fairy.. i recently found my Maybelline wet shine in nude glow and i like it.. hmm all nude colours...

Lipgloss: rimmel jelly gloss in moreish & the last remnants of my Di Kenedy lipgloss

Nail Colour: suprisingly, L.A. colors in mocha, so cheap but i like it.. i am so boring!!

hmmm.. i have ordered somethings from ebay, friends & ducked into priceline a few times so hopefully my look will get shaken up a tad when i recieve all my items. yay for me and my immense patience!

i havent posted in a while because i just havent found the time which is the story of my life! lol hopefully the kids & hubs will be kinds to mummy and let me have some down time or me time in the near future xo

11 things that make me happy

i wasnt tagged but i think this is a great tag that makes you look at your life and appreciate all the little things that make you happy..

1) my family! - immediate & distant.. its nice knowing i have a group of people who will always have my back. my kids are the most awesome people ever! they have taught me so much about myself and have helped me into becoming a better person. my significant other has been through so much with me, seen me at my worst & truly is my best friend.

2) my ladies - i have THE BEST group of friends, some i have known since birth, some since school & some more recent.. i turn to these ladies for advice on parenting, fashion, shoes, relationships.. ive got the kind of friends who tell me what i want to hear and those who tell me what i need to hear. i have those friends who make me laugh & smile with no effort. i have those friends who know what looks good on me and will tell me "you look hideous! take that off! lets go shopping".

3) reading - if only i could do it more often but sometimes its nice just to read and get taken out of ur everyday life and taken into someone elses. im currently reading Revolutionary Road (the novel that the movie was based on) & i have a long list of books to read..

4) dancing - by no means am i any good at it but it feels good to shake your booty sometimes.. i always come out of my hip hop classes feeling more me and free. even watching someone dance (well or poorly) puts a smile on my face. i guess its the ability to self-express that makes it so wonderful to watch or be a part of

5) a shower - if i could live, eat, read & sleep in the shower i probably would..

6) geting dressed up/ putting on my make up - i love how things like clothes, makeup, shoes & accesories can transform me from a tried, frumpy mum into a confident, go-get-em kinda woman.

7) acomplisments - i am such a hard worker and anytime i achieve anything (even if its just a clean house or all the clothes folded & put away) it feels awesome! i work hard for that feeling of "yes i did it!!"

8) chocolate - its laced with that "mmmm" kinda feeling.. i know theres something in there chemically which is designed to make you feel better so its only natural i guess.. dark chocolate is the way to go! full of anti-oxidents & its tastes so good

9) road trips/ holidays - i dont go on enough of these but getting out of the daily grind/routine and getting away from it all is nice once in a while

10) good art/ design - anything that is aesthetically pleasing really boosts my mood, just the thought of some creative person being able to create something so amazing and beautiful is so inspiring

11) warm, sunny days - im not talking heatwaves, you know those perfect days where the weather is just right and you just wanna chill out with your favourite person/drink/book and just enjoy being alive.

CORNY.. maybe but everyone has those things that make them happy and its nice to give light to those things once in a while.

xo

its all about balance + fun nites out!

i went out with some of my many gorgeous friends on saturday nite to a nice dinner and dessert and i won best dressed which is crazy considering i was wearing a jacket that was about 6 years old and very badly custom made! i got a dior makeup bag and mascara for best dressed and got a goody bag full of dior things and gorgeous diva earrings! so i didnt take any pics of my outfit (wish i had now) but i'll put a couple fotos up just for the sake of remembering such a fun nite! i need to do things like this more often!

all us girlies

me & 2 of my fave ladies

dior goody bags! :D

anyways...

ok so i started the year off with this resolution to only buy things that i seriously needed and frivolous, usless things were a waste of money.. i broke that resolution early june and havent gotten back onto it till now, its a new month so i thought i would try it again.. if felt pretty good not buying crap i didnt need.. its also bout not going out too much and just generally being wiser with my money and saving it instead of wasting it.. wish me luck!!

INS & OUTS

IN:

great weather - its sunny but not hot with a cool breeze and its not as chilly as it used to be.. I sense spring (and my hubbys allergies) approaching!

clothes for $10 - its like guilt free shopping, its practically free!

ksubi jeans - my lee skinnys have a HUGE hole at the knee that keeps gettin bigger each time i wear them and i dont think i can pull that off.. so i guess its time to break out the ksubis ive been saving since my birthday..

crunchie chocolate - i thought cherry ripe was my fave but they make me feek sick after 1... i can eat way more crunchie without that same sick feeling

half falsies - worn on the outer corner is wow you have pretty lashes and not WOW UR WEARING FAKE LASHES

my natural curls - im thinkin i have curly hair for a reason so just accept it, and i have.. its only taken me 23 years haha

OUT:

mud puddles - my backyard is so uneven and doesnt get much sun so i'll step in a puddle of mud everytime i got outside... and when im wearing sandals thats not fun..

wisdom teeth - oh man they hurt and i dont like the dentist and how much they charge so im gritting my teeth (almost literally) and putting up with them..

whore bags - ugh its scary sometimes how some girls/ladies can look in the mirror, half naked with their bra showing and half an ass cheek hanging out with sky high heels and think "yeh i look good". i hope my baby girls dont grow up to think that looks good because it really doesnt. its so much sexier to leave a bit to the imagination and look like you have a bit of self respect.

on that note im off to eat dinner. xo

tiny tiny haul

dont you hate crappy mornings which then make you head to the mall and buy stuff?? well i had one of those myself and decided i deserve some new stuff. I went to temt (my fave store) and bought just a simple plain black singlet $9.95 and went to mink and found a white top for $13 from $20 (yay for bargains)

then went to diva (another fave!) and picked up some cute rings and a chunky charm bracelet which i have been wanting for ages!

disco ball ring $8.99

purple antique cocktail ring $12.98

purple jewel snake ring $12.99

chunky gold charm bracelet for $15


i love how chunky the charms are

ahhh.. gotta love a bit of retail therapy!

Ladies Night

My goodness, i cant remember the last time i went OUT with all these girls at the same time... ok i lie, the last time we were all out together was my friends 21st which was 2 years ago and that is way too long, but when were all together its still sweer and good like the good old days. We initally planned to have a dinner, dessert & bowling kinda night but it turned into a dinner, drinks, dessert, drinks & dancing kinda night which made me feel my age again, which is nice. Some of these girls ive known since high school, a few since primary & one since preschool. i love these ladies long time.

Mid-Year Resolution

ok so im not really one for New Years resolution but the middle of the year always gets me in a flurry with this feeling that the year is almost over and i have to achieve some kind of goal by the end of the year.. or maybe i just like kinda not really having to strive for something for half the year and decide to get off my bum in july... actually i kinda did have a new years resolution not to shop unnecessarily but that went out the window bout a month ago..



anyways so i was brushing my teeth the other day and i normally brushing my teeth with my kids so i cant like stare at myself in the mirror whilst im brushing to make sure i get everywhere and yada yada yada but this time i caught a glimpse of my teeth and was HORRIFIED almost disgusted.. ok so i am the social smoker who downs about 4 cups of tea or coffee a day so what did i expect? not YELLOW TEETH! hey i knew i didnt have pearly whites but i knew this was like beyond acceptable. so i dashed out and bought a serious tooth whitening paste which i have to use twice a day.. and so far for the 1 day that ive had the product i did.. it tastes like the dentist which should be a good thing right? i even rinsed with listerine and BLEW MY HEAD OFF! that stuff is so fresh i thought my teeth were going to fall out from the freshness.. my eyes actually started to water.



ok so this product says i will see results in 2 weeks so im really going to try hard to stick to it and see what happens..



i guess my midyear resolution is generally to take better care of myself.. this came about when i ate half a packet of tim tams and a whole bag of doritos and was wondering why my skin is so bad.. im seriously anemic meaning i have like no iron in my blood so im meant to take iron tablets every morning which i have been doing. im also trying to drink more water and ive swapped coffee and tea for hot chocolate and green tea. im being VERY social this weekend so im hoping i do not smoke, if i dont buy them i wont smoke simple as that. i really want to be more active. running mmmeeehhh... i guess i'll try to go back to dance classes, i guess since moving so far from the city and the hubby working nights so no one can watch the kids are 2 reasons i have stopped going religiously. fruit used to be my nemesis but i have decided to make peace with the apple and the banana and even the strawberry.



i guess i just hope that im showing my kids how important it is to take care of yourself, and how much better you feel and look when you do.

ins & outs

just felt like doing so i kinda have a feelin about how the week will go

IN:

Rubi shoes - cheap and make me look more grown up then my sneakers do

choc chip cookies - for breakfast, unhealthy as it is, its just so good!

tinted moisturiser - so easy, doesnt clog pores, evens out my skin tone without making me looking like im wearing make up

Kinky Muk curl amplifier - ive figured out exaclty how much ineed and when i should apply it for the best results

Temt black cargidan - makes me feel more like a fashionable mum

Pawpaw ointment - no chapped lips for me! i will not let winter take that away from me

OUT:

lace up sneakers - im lazy at heart and laces in the morning when were running late for preschool doesnt help

vacuuming - i hate it! and with 2 kids running around i'll vacuum in the morning and it will look like i havent vacuumed by night fall..

Winter - used to think i loved it but i so dont! i miss warmth and heat and the sun and my tan!

pushy people who ruin plans - this frustrates me beyond belief!

Less is WAY more

ok so now that my internet is back up to full speed after 3 weeks of like snail paced internet im back on youtube watching videos again and firmly believe that less is more.. the kind of videos i watch on youtube are reviews and haul videos (fashion and makeup) but recently ive been watching shoe collection videos just out of curiousity and OMG.. i feel like i have no shoes! i could probably talk about my shoes for 3-5 mins but these videos go for 10+ mins and they're edited down and chopped up. SURPRISINGLY i feel good about not owning that many shoes because i love each and every shoe i own and i wear them all. i'm just going to list them down to see if i really do have a big or small collections

* Nike retro sneakers
* Nike all white AirForce1s
* Converse white hi-tops
* Converse blue low
* Rubi shoes black
* Rubi shoes brown
* Rubi shoes purple
* Novo black ankle high heel boots
* Novo black platform sling backs
* brown knee high high heel boots
* flat black knee high leather boots
* cream ankle boots
* red tony bianco sling backs
* candy patent black sling backs
* 3 pairs of havaiana thongs
* RMK bronze high heels
* mary jane high heels
* patent black platform high heels

okay now that i think about it thats still a lot of shoes.. but i guess my defence is that i really do wear them all and i dont plan on buying anymore shoes in the near future.

Ageing gracefully..

I had one of those moments where you catch yourself in the mirror and cant believe what you see... considering i am only 23 but also considering how much "life" i have lived in 4 quick years... i feel like ive aged about 15 years in that amount of time.

Uneven & dull skin, my face doesnt look as tight and fresh as its used it.. my pores look like they're trying to send signals to beings in space.. my acne still hasnt completley gone away.. scars from my past life that are as stubborn as me and refuse to fade..

Ok so problems are identified so im guessing the next thing is to find a solution but i have no idea if i should be reaching for an anti aging cream, a pore refining lotion, a mosturiser for acne prone skin?!? and dont even get me started on a night cream!! hmmm... and all this on top of going over the millions of things i have to do today..

yay

DVS dinner + shopping

So last night I had dinner with 2 of my favourite girls (apart from my daughters). we go waaaayyy back like "i knew you when you were in your mums tummy" kind of way back and as always, its nice to catch up with these ladies.. we dont get to see each other as much as we used to but when were all together its still pretty much the way its always been, which is hard to find in friends. we're more like sisters. Suprisingly when we discussed what it would be like to live all together none of us could see that lasting very long. hehe..

Before dinner we kinda did some light shopping in a cheap store and each came away with something. Its nice to go shopping with girls who know what you like and what looks good on you. So we head off to dinner and order our steaks. We have serious convos, ridiculous reminiscing, misheard confussions, catching up on the goss, seeing where we're all at in our lives.. the usual girl talk. These girls make me laugh like no one else can. Dinner comes and turns out our craving for steak wasnt as big as we thought it was... we go for coffee to bring up more embarrassing stories from our life long friendship. I've been needing a night like this for a long time.

we take ONE photo all night which if you knew what we were like in our teens is a big deal. but really with our friendship its about quality not quantity.

My Saturdays

what i would LIKE my saturdays to looks like:
wake up to pleasant kids who eat their breakfast without fuss
get the kids changed and cleaned up with no problems/battles
have the kids minded while i head to a Hip Hop class
meet up with a friend for waffles
pick the kids up and have dinner with no trouble
get the kids in bed around 8 and have the rest of the evening to myself to read.

what my Saturday will ACTUALLY be like:
wake up too late to even make it to my Hip hop class and have brunch with the kids
struggle to get the kids to co-operate and have a battle over what they want to wear. "its cold! put your socks and your jumper on!"
tend to the MASSIVE pile of dishes in my sink and the MASSIVE pile of dirty/clean clothes
feed the kids lunch and nibble on left overs
change a really gross nappy (what goes in, has to come out right after it went in)
answer to a million "Mummy, I want..."
vacuum, mow the lawn, clean some outside windows because i have a rental inspection this week
say good bye to my fortnightly pay as i budget and pay the bills/rent/preschool/groceries/petrol
bribe the kids to eat their dinner
finally getting the kids to sleep at 10pm
falling asleep on the couch because i was too tired to read by then

woohoo.

WOAW

Michael Jackson, the KING of pop, passed away earlier today and im kind of still shocked, kind of in denial and dont really know what to say...

when we were kids me and my brother used to fight all the time over everything, but one thing we seemed to agree on is that Michaels music was the best. There will never be any artist or entertainer who can replace him, or equal him in his talent.

All i hope is that he is resting in peace and that people remember him for his amazing music, his trademark dance moves which no one can do quite the same and his efforts at making this world a better place. He will be sadly missed and never forgotten.

Michael Jackson

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

One thing

One thing i would like to learn how to do is to draw/sketch/create masterpieces with charcoal.. how i'll achieve that is beyond me but yeh.. charcoal is like a pair of shoes that you love and then save up forever for and when u go to buy them there's in your size... (or you could just put them on layby in the first place..)

ANYWAYS.. i got a taste for charcoal when i was doing my TVET course in my senior years at Enmore TAFE (yes.. THE design centre).. and ever since then havent had time/tried/experimented with charcoal and i miss it so.. maybe because i was so awful with it but whatever..

i love charcoal

found this randomly on the net but its from

www.cowenfamily.com

Oh My Gosh

I thought this blogging thing would be easy, total creative freedom.. and im stumped.

i used to think i was some what creative. i know i enjoyed expressing my creative side (eg, writing stories, painting pictures, designing T shirts). I guess becoming a mother has required me to be creative in a different way (eg, how to get a child to stop crying in the middle of a shopping centre, how to make a caterpillar out of egg cartons, how to shop for a weeks worth of groceries with only $74... etc).

i guess because my girls arent little babies anymore and im not as sleep deprived as i used to be, im feeling more like ME. which is why im trying to get back into reading, which i used to do constantly *nerd alert*. I was even contemplating going back to uni to finish my degree (Bach. Design, Visual Communications)... and thats when i laughed at myself and got back to folding the laundry.

We moved house in early March of this year and going through all my stuff made me realise i was a semi-hoarder and i wasted so much money, time & energy on crap that i didnt like/want/need. So i told myself NO SHOPPING unless its a neccesity (eg, pads, shampoo, etc). ive been pretty good at sticking to it. Till like 2 days ago.. but i have been able to justify my purcahses, really, i did NEED them..