Dilemma

OK so I love mothering but I've ALWAYS wanted to go back to school/uni to show my girls that ANYTHING is possible.. even a mother of 2 getting a uni degree, its like a walk in the park! The only issue being my parents are going to back the motherland (Indonesia) in March next year and aren't pressuring me to come but my grandmothers are always reminding me how much they miss my babies.. so I'm torn between giving my daughters time with their great grandmothers while they still can and keeping a promise to myself..

i never got to meet any great grandparents, my brother did.. has photos to prove it and everything. I'm all about giving my kids what i didn't have so, I'm going back with my parents for 5 weeks and hopefully when i get back I'll get accepted in mid-year applications..

Its just amazing the way that only a mother would have to think things through and get things done.. such as:

"I'll only put $15 in my tank for the week so I can buy credit for my husband and he'll have cash for his weekly indoor soccer match with his boys so he doesn't have to go to an ATM.."

"I'll finish the dishes, then change her nappy, then take the trash out.. don't forget to put a load in the washing machine!"

"I wont go to meet up with my girlfriends because the house is a mess, i don't want to use up my petrol & it feels like i haven't really spent time with the husband.."

.. i once cleaned the shower, while i was showering and i read a book to my daughter at the same time...

Some people say I'm too dedicated to my kids & my husband.. i would have to say that's just how i was raised, with the best parents setting the best example for me. everyone says it but my mother really is the best mother & wife. my dad too of course, they both did everything and anything for me and my brother.. every single choice my parents have made in her lives has been for the benefit of the family, down to the jobs they have worked at for the last 20+ years, the way they spend money, the way they spend Saturday mornings..

i am ever so grateful to my parents

for never fighting in front of me and my brother

for taking me to religious school EVERY Saturday morning even though i really didn't want to go

for showing me how adults interact & behave with dignity & respect

to show me how a man and wife love beyond hugs & kisses

for teaching me how to drive in the rain

for teaching me how far i can stretch $20

for teaching me that volume doesn't mean anything & substance means everything

for showing me that there is nothing better than hard work

for always listening

for recognising my need to be independent and do things my way

for picking me up from ANYWHERE at all hours of the night

for loving me through all my mistakes due to rather poor judgement

for knowing somethings up even when i try my hardest to pretend its all good

for never letting me down EVER

its almost an impossible mould to fill but I'm trying my best.. all a kid ever wants is to make their parents proud.