motivation

some people got it, some people don't.. I'm one of those people who got it (sometimes..)

I'll be motivated to wash the dishes when there aren't any clean cups or spoons, ill be motivated do the laundry when all the baskets are full, ill be motivated to wash my car when there's bird shit EVERYWHERE..




OK so that's not really motivation is it? so this rant is basically me trying to figure out why i can do somethings & am freaked out to do other things.. these other things are about me going back to school..


so the deal is i was in uni completing a degree in design.. got married & thought i could continue it but got pregnant & had my baby (and then got pregnant again & had that baby) and now 4 years later i have 2 daughters & no babies so I'm thinking of going back to school to do something.. but what??


I like design I'm just not good at it. i am an appreciator. i love good design & i appreciate & respect those who can create good design. i also like art, but id rather study & analyse it, than paint a picture. So i also love languages & different cultures. if i had my way id be fluent in about 5 languages. i love reading & writing but again id rather read an awesome story than write one myself.. so this leaves me where...


at a recent hang out/gathering my friends were trying to help me figure out what to do, everyone was so supportive of me going back but I'm so clueless on what to do. I'm torn between just finishing my degree in 18 months and being done with it.. or finding what i love to do and studying that.. but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking two things



1) do i have the time/organisation skills/ dedication to go back to school full time with a family to take care of?


2) what degree can i do that will allow me to get a job once i graduate?




the someone said something brilliant, "I'm just doing my degree because i like it"


that sounds lovely but i guess having a family puts my way of thinking in a different place. if i get a job i have to think of one that is flexible & doesn't require too much of my time out of work. My mum came up with the suggestion of being a teacher and right now i see where she's coming from. there's currently a shortage of teachers so that's a plus however teachers aren't amongst the best paid people out there and my husband wants to be a teacher too. so i wonder if financially that would be okay for the family.




one thing i do know is that as a mother i am here to set the best example for my children and i know that takes a lot of hard work & dedication & yes... motivation too




as if these girls aren't motivation enough..

11 things that make me happy

i wasnt tagged but i think this is a great tag that makes you look at your life and appreciate all the little things that make you happy..

1) my family! - immediate & distant.. its nice knowing i have a group of people who will always have my back. my kids are the most awesome people ever! they have taught me so much about myself and have helped me into becoming a better person. my significant other has been through so much with me, seen me at my worst & truly is my best friend.

2) my ladies - i have THE BEST group of friends, some i have known since birth, some since school & some more recent.. i turn to these ladies for advice on parenting, fashion, shoes, relationships.. ive got the kind of friends who tell me what i want to hear and those who tell me what i need to hear. i have those friends who make me laugh & smile with no effort. i have those friends who know what looks good on me and will tell me "you look hideous! take that off! lets go shopping".

3) reading - if only i could do it more often but sometimes its nice just to read and get taken out of ur everyday life and taken into someone elses. im currently reading Revolutionary Road (the novel that the movie was based on) & i have a long list of books to read..

4) dancing - by no means am i any good at it but it feels good to shake your booty sometimes.. i always come out of my hip hop classes feeling more me and free. even watching someone dance (well or poorly) puts a smile on my face. i guess its the ability to self-express that makes it so wonderful to watch or be a part of

5) a shower - if i could live, eat, read & sleep in the shower i probably would..

6) geting dressed up/ putting on my make up - i love how things like clothes, makeup, shoes & accesories can transform me from a tried, frumpy mum into a confident, go-get-em kinda woman.

7) acomplisments - i am such a hard worker and anytime i achieve anything (even if its just a clean house or all the clothes folded & put away) it feels awesome! i work hard for that feeling of "yes i did it!!"

8) chocolate - its laced with that "mmmm" kinda feeling.. i know theres something in there chemically which is designed to make you feel better so its only natural i guess.. dark chocolate is the way to go! full of anti-oxidents & its tastes so good

9) road trips/ holidays - i dont go on enough of these but getting out of the daily grind/routine and getting away from it all is nice once in a while

10) good art/ design - anything that is aesthetically pleasing really boosts my mood, just the thought of some creative person being able to create something so amazing and beautiful is so inspiring

11) warm, sunny days - im not talking heatwaves, you know those perfect days where the weather is just right and you just wanna chill out with your favourite person/drink/book and just enjoy being alive.

CORNY.. maybe but everyone has those things that make them happy and its nice to give light to those things once in a while.

xo

INS & OUTS

IN:

great weather - its sunny but not hot with a cool breeze and its not as chilly as it used to be.. I sense spring (and my hubbys allergies) approaching!

clothes for $10 - its like guilt free shopping, its practically free!

ksubi jeans - my lee skinnys have a HUGE hole at the knee that keeps gettin bigger each time i wear them and i dont think i can pull that off.. so i guess its time to break out the ksubis ive been saving since my birthday..

crunchie chocolate - i thought cherry ripe was my fave but they make me feek sick after 1... i can eat way more crunchie without that same sick feeling

half falsies - worn on the outer corner is wow you have pretty lashes and not WOW UR WEARING FAKE LASHES

my natural curls - im thinkin i have curly hair for a reason so just accept it, and i have.. its only taken me 23 years haha

OUT:

mud puddles - my backyard is so uneven and doesnt get much sun so i'll step in a puddle of mud everytime i got outside... and when im wearing sandals thats not fun..

wisdom teeth - oh man they hurt and i dont like the dentist and how much they charge so im gritting my teeth (almost literally) and putting up with them..

whore bags - ugh its scary sometimes how some girls/ladies can look in the mirror, half naked with their bra showing and half an ass cheek hanging out with sky high heels and think "yeh i look good". i hope my baby girls dont grow up to think that looks good because it really doesnt. its so much sexier to leave a bit to the imagination and look like you have a bit of self respect.

on that note im off to eat dinner. xo

ins & outs

just felt like doing so i kinda have a feelin about how the week will go

IN:

Rubi shoes - cheap and make me look more grown up then my sneakers do

choc chip cookies - for breakfast, unhealthy as it is, its just so good!

tinted moisturiser - so easy, doesnt clog pores, evens out my skin tone without making me looking like im wearing make up

Kinky Muk curl amplifier - ive figured out exaclty how much ineed and when i should apply it for the best results

Temt black cargidan - makes me feel more like a fashionable mum

Pawpaw ointment - no chapped lips for me! i will not let winter take that away from me

OUT:

lace up sneakers - im lazy at heart and laces in the morning when were running late for preschool doesnt help

vacuuming - i hate it! and with 2 kids running around i'll vacuum in the morning and it will look like i havent vacuumed by night fall..

Winter - used to think i loved it but i so dont! i miss warmth and heat and the sun and my tan!

pushy people who ruin plans - this frustrates me beyond belief!

Less is WAY more

ok so now that my internet is back up to full speed after 3 weeks of like snail paced internet im back on youtube watching videos again and firmly believe that less is more.. the kind of videos i watch on youtube are reviews and haul videos (fashion and makeup) but recently ive been watching shoe collection videos just out of curiousity and OMG.. i feel like i have no shoes! i could probably talk about my shoes for 3-5 mins but these videos go for 10+ mins and they're edited down and chopped up. SURPRISINGLY i feel good about not owning that many shoes because i love each and every shoe i own and i wear them all. i'm just going to list them down to see if i really do have a big or small collections

* Nike retro sneakers
* Nike all white AirForce1s
* Converse white hi-tops
* Converse blue low
* Rubi shoes black
* Rubi shoes brown
* Rubi shoes purple
* Novo black ankle high heel boots
* Novo black platform sling backs
* brown knee high high heel boots
* flat black knee high leather boots
* cream ankle boots
* red tony bianco sling backs
* candy patent black sling backs
* 3 pairs of havaiana thongs
* RMK bronze high heels
* mary jane high heels
* patent black platform high heels

okay now that i think about it thats still a lot of shoes.. but i guess my defence is that i really do wear them all and i dont plan on buying anymore shoes in the near future.

My Saturdays

what i would LIKE my saturdays to looks like:
wake up to pleasant kids who eat their breakfast without fuss
get the kids changed and cleaned up with no problems/battles
have the kids minded while i head to a Hip Hop class
meet up with a friend for waffles
pick the kids up and have dinner with no trouble
get the kids in bed around 8 and have the rest of the evening to myself to read.

what my Saturday will ACTUALLY be like:
wake up too late to even make it to my Hip hop class and have brunch with the kids
struggle to get the kids to co-operate and have a battle over what they want to wear. "its cold! put your socks and your jumper on!"
tend to the MASSIVE pile of dishes in my sink and the MASSIVE pile of dirty/clean clothes
feed the kids lunch and nibble on left overs
change a really gross nappy (what goes in, has to come out right after it went in)
answer to a million "Mummy, I want..."
vacuum, mow the lawn, clean some outside windows because i have a rental inspection this week
say good bye to my fortnightly pay as i budget and pay the bills/rent/preschool/groceries/petrol
bribe the kids to eat their dinner
finally getting the kids to sleep at 10pm
falling asleep on the couch because i was too tired to read by then

woohoo.

WOAW

Michael Jackson, the KING of pop, passed away earlier today and im kind of still shocked, kind of in denial and dont really know what to say...

when we were kids me and my brother used to fight all the time over everything, but one thing we seemed to agree on is that Michaels music was the best. There will never be any artist or entertainer who can replace him, or equal him in his talent.

All i hope is that he is resting in peace and that people remember him for his amazing music, his trademark dance moves which no one can do quite the same and his efforts at making this world a better place. He will be sadly missed and never forgotten.

Michael Jackson

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Oh My Gosh

I thought this blogging thing would be easy, total creative freedom.. and im stumped.

i used to think i was some what creative. i know i enjoyed expressing my creative side (eg, writing stories, painting pictures, designing T shirts). I guess becoming a mother has required me to be creative in a different way (eg, how to get a child to stop crying in the middle of a shopping centre, how to make a caterpillar out of egg cartons, how to shop for a weeks worth of groceries with only $74... etc).

i guess because my girls arent little babies anymore and im not as sleep deprived as i used to be, im feeling more like ME. which is why im trying to get back into reading, which i used to do constantly *nerd alert*. I was even contemplating going back to uni to finish my degree (Bach. Design, Visual Communications)... and thats when i laughed at myself and got back to folding the laundry.

We moved house in early March of this year and going through all my stuff made me realise i was a semi-hoarder and i wasted so much money, time & energy on crap that i didnt like/want/need. So i told myself NO SHOPPING unless its a neccesity (eg, pads, shampoo, etc). ive been pretty good at sticking to it. Till like 2 days ago.. but i have been able to justify my purcahses, really, i did NEED them..