tonight i was..

eating : 2 minute noodles.. isnt it weird how you slave over a hot stove to create a nutricious yet delicious meal for your family when all you really want to eat is 2 minute noodles..

reading : The Shipping News - E. Annie Proulox.. i have a feeling one of my English teachers back in high school suggested i read this book & 6+ years later I am and liking it so far but im half way and still waiting for the story to start.. i wonder what the "E" stands for and how you would pronounce that last name... i'm gonna google that..

talking to : my brother on the phone.. he has officially been overseas for a year and i miss him! Our relationship is so normal to us.. i dont think we've EVER said that we love each other but he's my bro of course i do.. we'll talk about getting high, getting drunk, his travelling adventures, hot chics, my kids, our parents but we just never talk about our problems for more then a few moments.. maybe thats our way of letting each of us deal with our issues ourselves & become better people because of it.. he's apparently an awesome cook and i am not so maybe i'll be schooled in the culinary department when he gets back

mothering : my 2 children/angels fell asleep right on cue.. exactly what i need on a saturday night home alone after a full day of hard work.. im talking toilet scrubbing, vacuuming, 4 loads of dirty laundry, 2 baskets of clean clothes to put away, dishes stacked up high & a family to take care of..

listening to : some new tunes... nothing like fresh melodies for the ears..

Consequence feat Kanye West & John Legend - Whatever You Want (John Legend makes anything fire...)

Drake - The Fear (..now you finally got a moment to yourself girl...)

Letoya Luckett feat Ludacris - Regret (Letoya = underated.. Ludacris = Always great..)

Melanie Fiona - It Kills Me (gotta love a woman with REAL talent..)

Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness (this man can do no wrong...)

Amerie feat Trey Songz - Pretty Brown Eyes (awesome colab.. of course!)

thinking : of painting my nails bright blue..

loving : my life.. as sappy as that sounds I'm trying to focus on the positives after my husband nicely alerted me to my pessimistic tendencies.. no money in my wallet but i have a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back, my health, my family & god... dont really need much else

WAIT! one thing i think everyone needs is a photo of a 2 year & 8 months old girl picking her nose..

can mums wear sneakers?

I LOVE SNEAKERS.. i always have always will.. i remember being a little girl & being a hater because my older brother got to wear Reebok Pumps & Air Jordans and i had to wear jelly sandals & patent buckle shoes.. i remember getting my first pair of black converse all stars in year 6 and i didnt wear them out but i slept in them for a week..

so now that im 23 and a mother of 2.. am i meant to really put my sneakers away and put on some ballet flats? I've always looked young for my age.. even now i still get mistaken for a 16-19 year old and im not complaining but i kind of am.. i guess im torn between looking my age and looking like a mother. i'll admit to getting funny looks because it looks like im 16 and have 2 kids which means i popped out my first child when i was 12?? so for the sake of avoiding the stares ive put my ballet flats in front of my sneakers in my shoe space for easier access.. but i just feel like a faker! i want to wear my sneakers! my sneakers consist of enough chuck taylors to last me a while, all white hi air force 1s, patent pink & red low AF1S & some retro design nike Air jordans & i'd love to buy more.. my fave sneakers would have to be my white hi-top chucks & my jordans..

and then i come across websites like this...

http://femalesneakerfiend.com/

and admire these ladies for being able to rock sneakers, look awesome & age appropriate..

oh well... im staying home in my socks today anyways..

...it has been a WHILE

major guilt about not blogging, the main reason being that I have no idea what to blog about.. but i do love reading other peoples blogs as they just seem way more interesting.. i'll admit, the life of a stay at home mother isnt THAT interesting in my opinion, but i do think it is the MOST important job in the world ever! and the most challenging and difficult.. but it has its fun moments and its obvious perks..

i'll be an optimist and talk about the great things about being a stay at home mum..

KIDS - spending time with my kids is the best. Seeing them grow up is amazing. The other day my eldest daughter told me "Mummy, I talk differently now because im older." and i thought, well, yes, she does doesnt she??? and she's only 4.. my youngest daughter is slowly showing signs of being ready to start toilet training and to most people that would be a "umm.. so?" kind of thing but after almost 3 years of nappy changes.. bring on the potty!!

I've always been an organised person but being organised with children takes a whole other way of thinking. My purse is packed with everything i'll need for the day, my kids (and my) clothes laid out & ready for the next day. Right down to making sure their favourite cereal bowls and spoons are out the night before.. and their shoes & socks are ready, unrolled, untied to be shoved on in a flurry with my keys sitting in the lock ready to get out the door in the morning. But i love it. I would have to say my kids will never know how much they have taught me. pre-kids i was a very impatient perfectionist and those 2 words just dont go with being a mother! Its all about waiting & being able to just let the little things go yet appreciate the little things at the same time.. Even something as unsanitary and gross as my daughter picking her nose with her thumb can make my day. An uninterrupted, warm shower is heaven to me now! let alone getting to moisturise! My most treasured growth from having children is learning how to have fun & care about the important things. It's fun pretending to be farm animals and making silly faces and making art out of glitter & glue.. you should try it!

Going out with the kids it tiring and nothing like what it used to be like when i would go out sans-kids. If we go out for lunch i will most likey end up eating someones left overs & drinking a cold cup of coffee but just seing my children having a good time is worth the energy, stress & effort it takes to go out.

PJS - 9 out of 10 days i get out of them but on those days where i just dont feel like getting out of them i dont and its as simple as that. I'll obviously shower but I might just slip into my trackies & a baggy shirt if I feel like it. theyre just so comfy..

ME TIME - I used to feel bad for taking time to myself, but now that i think about it, it helps me calm down and be a better, happier, fun mum which benefits the whole family & i'm teaching my children that taking care of yourself is important. I normally read a book, exercise or just have a cup of tea just to make myself feel like a human again. its hard to explain but when most of your day is about other people you sometimes dont feel like a person. It really is something you dont understand until you do it.

I sometimes think the challenges of being a stay at home mother are over looked because mothers dont want to look like theyre complaining or that they dont enjoy staying at home.. but just like any other job there are challenges

REPITITION - sometimes ill be doing something and think "hang on, i was doing this yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.." but thats just the nature of staying at home i guess. kids will always need to eat 3 times a day plus snacks so of course you're always going to have dishes to wash. kids are just made to make messes so of course you're going to have to pack up toys, books & arts & craft pieces over and over again. Kids are grubby & dirty so theres no suprise if you're doing your 4th load of washing for the week and its only wednesday.

LONLINESS - even though im never alone (i have a 2 year old who follows me almost everywhere) it does get lonely when you dont have other adults to talk to during the day. My kids are great & interesting people but as for conversationalists, theres only so much they can talk about (obviously!). So sometimes I just feel like i dont really have anyone to talk to. Its nice when me and my husband actually get the rare occasion of just sitting and talking and also the rare occasion that i'll organise a get together with my fellow stay at home mothers and we'll get to talk whilst watching the kids play at the park or something. Its harder than it sounds to get 2 mothers out.

EMOTIONS - when you dont have anyone to share your feelings with they either get repressed and forgotten or build up & explode. Staying at home with children can be frustrating when they dont want to eat their lunch, they dont want to cooperate, they dont want to say sorry or play nicely, the toy they want to play with doesnt have the right batteries, when one child wants to play rock band and the other child wants to play libraries.. ITS TOUGH! I think being a mother really teaches you how to control your emotions & show your emotions in a healthy manner. of course there have been times where i have just lost it but in the end it really is about just getting back up and getting on with it, really.

and on that note i must share with you my life, my joy, my purpose, my personal comedians, my educators, my endless supply of cuddles, hugs & kisses, my angels xx